Hello, I'd like to report a homicide. Yes, that's right, homicide. Who is the victim?
Well, the victim is actually a 'what'. Language, precisely the English Language, is murdered everyday. I'm sure you are witness (hopefully not perpetrator) every single day to vile acts against the English Language. Have you listened to talk radio lately? Read the newspaper? Watched television at all? Looked at your church bulletin? Read a note sent home from school?
I don't know which is worse, to hear the English Language moan with each stabbing misuse or to see it bleed in black and white on school letterhead. Can anyone use spell check? Doesn't anyone know what the squiggly green and/or red lines that appear under typed text in a Word document mean?
We will fight for lesser causes, but who will stand with me and say enough is enough! Who will defend, protect, and promote our sacred language? While it is still our language, stand with me and model correct English whether in wrote or in speech! We need to change the way the system misuses our language. The hope of the future of the English Language is in our hands. We must insist that our children learn and use it correctly. We must model correct grammar ourselves.
The latest incident I witnessed occurred moments ago on this evening's episode of "American Idol". Paula Abdul is the perp and she employed a double superlative as her weapon of choice. Millions of young impressionable minds have now heard this terrible misuse of our lovely language; they will accept it as correct and use double superlatives as wrecklessly as Ms. Abdul. It hurts my ears to hear such speech. My skin gets goosebumps akin to those I get when the contestants get "a little pitchy".
I have often wondered what kind of reaction I would get from my child's school if I returned notes from teachers, the PTF, and the school administration with my own "red marks" of correction on them. I should insist on a tuition credit for each error found. There is just no excuse for such blatant errors coming home from the SCHOOL!
So now I will proofread this entry lest I commit the very crimes I've accused others of commiting. Let me effectively remove the log in my own eye, then I'll more clearer see better the speck in yours.